I was looking at a photo of where I used to live back in the mid-'60s and early '70s, comparing the field where I used to play across from my house with how it looks today (see below) and a memory jumped into my mind. Which was that, on the evening of the flitting, after settling into our new home, I made my way back along to that field.
It was almost an instinct. After all, I didn't yet know anyone in our new neighbourhood, so it felt only natural to continue the habit of nearly seven years and seek out the environs that were familiar to me. As I entered the field, a group of local kids sitting in a far corner, turned and saw me approaching them. "What are you doing here?" one of them asked in an unwelcoming tone.
Back then I didn't understand their sullen coldness towards me, but I think I do now. We hadn't informed any of our neighbours of our intention to move, so it would have been a surprise to them on the day. Maybe our moving was regarded as a betrayal of sorts, an abandonment of the area and those who lived there - as if we'd thought we were too good for the place and turned our backs on it.
In only a few short hours the local kids now viewed me as no longer belonging there, but it was yet far too early for me to feel part of our new neighbourhood - leaving me in a kind of limbo as far as 'district identity' goes. Luckily, I didn't feel too displaced, as our new residence sat atop a hill just as our old one had done, so the general impression of the topography was similar in some ways, which doubtless helped me adjust to the new locale.
I've never quite forgotten just how quick people can be to shut others out of a group at the drop of a hat and consider them 'outsiders'. Luckily, I've never had a 'gang' mentality, so it didn't much bother me that I was no longer regarded as one of 'the lads' (if I ever had been). Still, like I said - I've never quite forgotten.
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And here's a 'below and after' comparison of how the view used to look and how it is today. Before, open and spacious - after, crowded and confining.
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| Click to enlarge |
It does seem like an astoundingly short amount of time for your status to change with this group of people! If they are that shallow that the sole criteria for you being 'in' or 'out' is based on geography, rather than any number of other factors that cement bonds between people - you were better off without them. Easy for me to say of course not having experienced the situation. I have always considered myself an outsider anyway and I like it that way. A bit of a hermit by nature and keeping up with former school mates or work colleagues is, I'm afraid, not a part of my skill set. I guess if I were more of an extrovert than an introvert I would make an effort to remedy that but clearly I must fit the introvert label as I don't seek people out. In this internet age geography is somewhat meaningless as you can now come into contact with like minded people and stay in contact with them from the other side of the planet!
ReplyDeleteI was never 'Mr. Popular' at the best of times, PC, and wasn't really part of the group anyway (being somewhat introverted like yourself), but yes, even then, it seems like a remarkably short time to be 'written off' by them. I still hung around the neighbourhood for years afterwards though, because I had pals in or around the area, so my presence wasn't dependent on being accepted by this particular group, but I did find their attitude that night somewhat puzzling. "You don't live here now, so why are you here?" sort of thing. People, eh?
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