In previous posts I've bored you all rigid with ponderous ponderings on the nature of time, as well as rambling reminiscences of my childhood and how I've never been quite able to comprehend how I went to bed one night as a teenager and woke up what seems like the very next day as the grumpy curmudgeon I am now. Well, the bad news is that it's more of the same, I'm afraid.
As a child I was always looking backward. When I moved from the first house I remember (though not the first I lived in), I made little pilgrimages to my old street to look at my former abode and derive some comfort from the familiarity of its presence. What's odd about this over-developed sense of nostalgia is that I only lived three or four minutes away and was a mere five and a half years old. Wow! Not even six and already hankering after the 'good old days'.
This compulsion to revisit the past has been a prominent feature of my personality all through my life to this very day. I recently added photographs of the views from the windows of my previous houses to my screensaver facility so that I can again gaze on familiar scenes whenever the mood takes me. At the click of a key I can re-experience any one of several landscapes that once met me when I drew back the curtains in the morning at various stages in my life.
However, there was one particular house (the third after the aforementioned ones above) I lived in for several years that I didn't miss 'til over a dozen years after moving out (and two houses down the line) and I've often wondered as to the reasons for this 'delayed reaction'. If you're interested (or aren't currently engaged in watching paint dry), feel free to join me as I explore the possible explanation for the curious complexity which has puzzled me for many a long year.
When I moved from the house in question (back in 1972), my life still revolved to a great degree around the neighbourhood it was situated in. I continued to attend the school just across the road from it for another two and a half years. I still went to Summer and Christmas fayres in the church at the top of the street, and my mother dutifully trotted along to the Sunday services every week, even though there was another congregation of the same denomination just around the corner from our new home. (In fact, it was from this group that the one my mother went to had sprung.) My friends all lived near or around my old domicile and I continued to frequent the area for quite a few years after.
It wasn't unusual for me to come home from school (and later, work), have my tea, and then return to my previous neighbourhood to hang about the local shopping centre (about thirty seconds away from my old front door) with my pals. Perhaps that explains why I wasn't consumed with the same rabid pangs of nostalgia I nursed for previous houses; I saw it so often that I simply never had a chance to miss it. The ambiance of the house was preserved in our new home by the presence of the same furniture we'd had in every place we'd ever lived in - plus, our new house was similar in many respects to the first one I remembered, hence it conjured up a feeling of familiarity that pre-dated the dwelling we had just recently vacated.
It wasn't until we had again moved house (in 1983) and were ensconced in yet another new residence that I gradually started to miss the one we had quit way back in 1972. What's strange about this was that I was simultaneously wallowing in nostalgic notions for the homestead we had just left (to say nothing of the ones which preceded them both), so it certainly can't be denied that I was spoilt for choice when it came to such sentimental self-indulgence. Perhaps I'm just greedy?
Okay, we've killed a few minutes, so how do I bring these meandering musings to a close? Tell you what - let's save it for the next post.
Whilst waiting for Part 2, I'll tell you what I simply can't get my head around - I am STILL the same person, so who the heck is that old gadgie in the mirror?
ReplyDeleteI'm always asking myself the same thing, JP. Do we share the same mirror by any chance?
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